Why Is It So Hard To Accept?

As a young child, my family moved several times before we settled down around my fourth grade year. The first time was before I began kindergarten and the next few times were in those early years of elementary school. With each change in school, there was the issue of making new friends and fitting in. In other words I wondered, "Will I be picked to play battle?" or "Will I be picked to play touch football?" I know that things haven't changed much over the years. Oh, the games change but all we have to do is listen to our children when they talk about their day to see that they haven't changed. As we age, the issue doesn't disappear for us either. As adults, our questions are about being included in the right circle of friends or social group in town, living in the right neighborhood and being accepted there, or even being a member at the right church.

Over the years, I found two ways to deal with my desire to get picked. One way was to watch everyone and figure out who was in charge and then you could be extra nice to them, try to make friends with them, or figure out whatever you had to do to move onto this person's list. Another approach to the problem was to pretend you didn't really want to be a part of that group anyway. If you pretended you weren't interested, then they might ask you to join them. But whichever way I approached the problem, there was no guarantee that it would work from one day to the next. For me and others, the desire to be included, or picked, often led to hurt feelings and broken hearts.

Sometimes, as Christians, our understanding of God is something akin to our approach to the playground, the childhood and adult ones. We think that if we can curry the favor of God through our thoughts and deeds then we will get picked for God's team. Martin Luther, when commenting on John 15, suggests it is as if we are saying, "It is not God who chooses us, but we seek him and make God our friend, that we may glory in that He has received much good from us. That is what all the word does in seeking to merit God's grace by previous works." It is as if our merit goes first and God's grace toddles along afterwards.

The gospel says though, "You did not choose me but I chose you" (John 15:16). Repeatedly in the gospel stories, we find that Jesus picks those least likely to be picked on the playground or anywhere else. He chooses them for no merit of their own. He chooses them because they have no hope other than God. Is it really any different for any of us? We don't choose God, God chooses us.

So why is it so hard to accept being chosen?