Holiday Shopping - Saying Yes and Saying No

It has officially begun! Have you finished yours yet? What, you may ask, am I talking about? Well, Christmas shopping of course.

One of my sisters-in-law worked in the retail industry for many years and she always dreaded the day after Thanksgiving. I seem to recall that a few years ago it was designated the busiest shopping day of the year and serves as the more or less formal start of the holiday shopping season. From now until late December, we’ll receive countless mail fliers informing us of upcoming sales, the lowest prices of the season, and a guarantee to have that hard-to-find item in stock. Each and every television station as well as radio station will inundate us with promotions for all of the newest gadgets and gizmos as well as a wealthy portion of past season favorites.

I think, though, that the advertisers and stores started well before last Friday. I noticed it one evening a few weeks ago when Will began announcing all of his desires for Christmas gifts. He proceeded to tell me about all of the cool things he had just seen on the television and that he thought he just had to have. Of course, he wanted us to say, “Yes, we’ll get you that…” And of course, we did not do that.

That “Yes” is the goal of all of the advertising to which we are submitted year round and in larger doses in this holiday season. They want us and even need us to say, “Yes”, to our children, ourselves, and to the salespeople in all the stores where we find ourselves when we shop. Sometimes, we will say yes and make purchases in order to give these items as gifts to another. Other times, we will say no. As I consider these “Yeses” and these “Nos”, I wonder how it is that I am supposed to know when to say, “Yes”, and when to say, “No”? A variety of factors figure into my response: cost, appropriateness for the recipient, and value among others. As I seek to faithfully follow Jesus, I also want my faith commitments to be the prominent factor in these choices. In other words, “How do I know when to say ‘Yes’ and when to say ‘No’? My instinct is that knowing when to say which is important to more than just what gifts to purchase and give but is relevant to all aspects of life.

Living a life of Christian faith that leads us into deeper relationship with God requires us to pray, study, be conscientious, and engaged in mutually supportive relationships with others. To live lives that are whole and holy takes self-discipline. If we are to live such lives, then we must learn the practice of saying no to that which crowds God out and yes to a way of life that makes space for God (Copeland Practicing 60).

The holiday shopping season particularly focuses this challenge because it represents a key aspect of our contemporary culture – we live in a context of seemingly unlimited choices. Playing on the themes of the holiday season, advertisers attempt to lure us down these paths of seemingly endless choice. As we follow their lead, we find ourselves at some point in a place where we discover that we have no choices and that the freedom of choice was an illusion. Our acquisitiveness prevents us from saying yes to the greater demands of God and in doing so it crowds God out of our lives. We find out that we don’t own our possessions – they own us.
It is hard to say no. Even when we know that choosing this path leads to a more whole and holy life, saying no can feel like deprivation and loss and then even the best of intentions can be laid aside. “In order for a no to be effective,” Shawn Copeland suggests, “it must be placed in the larger context of a life-affirming yes. But saying yes is not always easy either. Sometimes, even as the yes forms on the tongue, we pull back. Every yes brings with it new duties, new tasks; every yes calls up the unsettling potential of change in our lives” (Practicing 66).

Knowing when, how, to what, and to who to give our yes and no evolves throughout our lives. To live the life of faith and to strengthen our yes and our no, we need to engage intentional prayer – intimate conversation with God. Such conversation requires listening as much as it does talking on our parts. We also need the practice of discernment that includes our deliberate reflection our choices and decisions – past, present, and future. Additionally, the support and accountability of a small group with whom we openly share our struggles and successes can greatly aid this process of saying yes and saying no as well as many other spiritual disciplines.

If we are to live such lives, then we must learn the practice of saying no to that which crowds God out and yes to a way of life that makes space for God (Copeland Practicing 60).